self-less passion.

captivating.

i’m stagnant because the belief in myself is.

i stress out in absolute silence.

i’m nothing to be proud of.

me to me: what do YOU want?

me to me: i don’t fucking know

… and it drives me insane, i miss knowing what i wanted, i miss knowing myself, i just miss me.

i just want to go away.

i think i am going thru a passive depression. i dont know if that is even a thing, but i am at constant battle with myself, my thoughts, my emotions.

i don’t feel much

when i do feel it is inadequacy

that i can do so much better but i don’t want to do anything, i don’t believe in myself, i don’t feel confident in ANYTHING that i do.


i want to cry i want to scream not a single person around me knows this & it is a constant battle that i just make look good.

it’s so heavy it’s so constant to get away i wanna drink or go to sleep


no one knows. no one will ever know that i am fighting, everyday internally.


i act like i am fine, i throw myself into my friends and their accomplishments and problems to take myself away from my thoughts and battles.


i just want to be better. i want to do better. it’s so hard, i keep everything inside. i don’t let anything out. who really cares? nobody.

i just miss the old me, the one that wasn’t robbed of ALL OF HER POWER.

i just hope i make it out of this.

i just hope…

i literally want to scream

i want to disappear so bad

i want to be alone

literally at a place of self destruction & no one knows.

everyone i’ve loved has left my side at least once, i’m just waiting on the next.

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